International Scavenger Hunt!
by evenstarsbreak
Summary: Basically what the title says. Join the female Cullens and swan as they embark on the greatest scavenger hunt of the decade.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I dont own anything but my messed up mind.**

"Bella! Wake up already! Honestly, Edward, how do you deal with this? Sleeping is the most annoying human habit."

I rolled over to see two very agitated- looking vampires having a stare off.

"Uhh… hey Alice. Remind me again why I have to wake up at…" I turned to face the clock " 6:30 in the morning?" _Maybe this is all just a dream,_ I thought hopefully.

"You have to wake up this early so we can get an early start, silly!" She stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Before I could ask what the heck I needed an early start for, she was gone. I looked to Edward, hoping he could maybe clue me in, but he just shrugged. " I couldn't read her mind, she was doing the Australian national anthem, backwards, in Latin." I had to admit, that small vampire had talent.

I started to get up, figuring it would probably be best just to appease Alice, when I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. I turned around to face Edward, and immediately found myself speechless. He was cranking the dazzle factor way up._ Alright Bella, stay calm._ I told myself.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" He asked, his velvety voice making my heart go wild inside my chest.

" Uhh yes? Wait, no, maybe…huh?" _Smooth, Bella, real smooth._

He just chuckled, and looked at me. " a good morning kiss, love" and before I knew it, his lips were on mine. Even after all the time I'd spent with Edward, his touch still made me dizzy. Long before I was ready to quit, I heard, from somewhere in the depths of the Cullen house, " Isabella Marie Swan, if you are not down here in 4 minutes, I will force you to go shopping with me for the rest of our lives!"

Edward laughed, " I think you should probably get dressed."

I climbed out of bed, and spotted a folded pile of clothes that were labeled "Bella". _God forbid Alice let me go a day without having the "perfect outfit." ,_I thought, still bitter about her interrupting Edward and I's alone time. I quickly went to the bathroom and got dressed, surprised at the simplicity of Alice's choice of outfit for the day. A pair of jeans, a short sleeved solid black t-shirt, and street sneakers were all that she gave me to wear.

I raced out of the bathroom, deathly afraid of a lifetime of shopping, but as I got to the stairs, I lost my footing, and braced myself for a long, painful fall. Before I knew it, I was looking into a gorgeous pair of topaz eyes.

"You didn't think I was going to let you fall did you?"

Before I could reply, I was greeted by a very irritable, psychic vampire.

"It took you long enough Bella, jeez! Okay everyone, settle down!" It was then I realized that the whole Cullen family was gathered in the living room. I sat down on the loveseat, only to feel Edwards muscular arms snake around my waist and pull me into his lap.

Alice continued, " I have just received, hot from Denali, the items for this decades international scavenger hunt!!"

This statement was greeted with much enthusiasm from the Cullen clan. Emmett was jumping up and down, causing the whole house to shake. He looked like a five year old on Christmas. Carlisle was grinning from ear to ear, and Esme looked equally happy. Even Rosalie looked excited.

As for me, I was just confused. Edward picked up on this, and started to explain to me. "Every 10 years, we all leave the house and go on an international scavenger hunt. Tanya makes the list, so everyone here can participate."

"This time, however," Alice jumped in, "The rules have changed. First of all, No vampire speed allowed. That makes some things way too easy."

This rule was greeted with some mumbling and grumbling, particularly from Emmett.

"Second of all,", She continued, " There will be no Items located on the continent of Antarctica this year."

Emmett was having none of this. "And why the Hell not? Antarctica has always had really good items!"

"Because, dear brother of mine, some of us are still _human._" Alice replied, earning a growl from Edward.

"Alice is right, Emmett, we can't have Bella freezing to death now can we?" Esme said.

My cheeks reddened. I didn't like being the object of conflict.

Seeing that Emmett wasn't going to argue anymore, Alice went on" And lastly, Because we have an even number of people now, it will be guys versus girls!"

"You can't be serious!" Before i knew what was happening, i was alone on the loveseat, and Edward was on his feet, looking furious.

" Edward, I'm sure Bella will be perfectly safe, she will be in the care of three very capable vampires." Carlisle pointed out, calmly.

" Yeah dude, chill out." Said Emmett.

I'm sure Edward would have tackled him then and there if not for the wave of calm that suddenly swept over all of us.

"Thanks Jasper." I said, and then turned my attention to Edward.

"Edward, I know I'm a Danger magnet, but what's the worst that could happen? I'm sure Esme, Alice and Rosalie will keep me perfectly safe. Pleeeaasee?" I tried my best to dazzle him, but i just ended up feeling like a platypus gone horribly wrong.

It must have worked, though, because he sighed in defeat "If thats what you really want"

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou. Oh, and Edward?" I turned to face him.

"Yes love?"

"We are soooo gonna kick your asses."

**Did you like it? Please review! This is my first story so i need some feedback.**


	2. Chapter 2

**  
Disclaimer: my twisted mind is all i own... for now**

Even though I was excited about the whole scavenger hunt thing, I was still pretty confused about the rest of the rules, not to mention afraid. I was dealing with a coven of vampires playing scavenger hunt, after all. Jasper sensed my confusion, and gave me a reassuring nod.

"Alice, I assume the rest of the rules remain the same, am I correct?" inquired Jasper

"Of course Jasper, why would they change?" asked Alice

"Well, last time I checked, only one of us was a mind reader, and he already knows the rules. A certain lover of his though…" he trailed off and waited for Alice to catch on.

"Oh! Right! Bella!"

I smiled at Jasper, silently thanking him

"Bella, you've done scavenger hunts when you were little right?"

I thought back to my past birthday parties, and cringed.

"Right, well it's like those," Alice continued, "but it takes place all over the world!"

"Except Antarctica" mumbled a very pissed-off looking Emmett.

Alice ignored him,"Okay, so the first people back here with all the items on the list are declared the winners and have eternal bragging rights. If a team returns without any of the items, they are automatically disqualified, and the other team is declared the winners. The lists are in a different order so none of us are in the same place at the same time. Any questions?"

Alice went through all of this so fast; I barely caught any of it "Uh... I don't think so…"

"Great! If that's all, everyone go to your respective rooms to prepare! We will meet down here at exactly 7:00!"

Edward scooped me up bridal-style, carried me up to his room, and set me down gently on his bed. He then ran to his closet, and threw a bunch of clothes into a duffel bag, all at vampire speed. Before I could say Sanchez, he was laying on the bed beside me.

"What's the rush, Speedy Gonzales?" I asked playfully.

"If Alice is only giving us 15 minutes together, I plan to take full advantage of it" ,He whispered, his lips grazing my earlobe and sending shivers down my spine.

"I think that's an excellent idea" I mumbled, fighting a battle to keep my breathing even as my angel trailed kisses down my neck and across my collarbone. I was definitely losing.

"Breathe, Bella." Edward murmured against my neck.

"It's kind of hard when you're doing that." I gasped, in between ragged breaths.

He sat up. "Doing what?" He asked innocently, but his ocher eyes were full of mischief.

"You know exactly what you're doing." I said as I leaned in for a kiss. Right as my lips were about to make contact with his, I heard my favorite moment-ruiner-pixie-like-unusually- loud- for- her- small- size-psychic vampire's voice resonating throughout the Cullen mansion.

"CULLEN CLAN! ASSEMBLE!"

While Edward was distracted, I snuck a kiss in. "I'm gonna miss you while I'm off kicking your team's ass in a scavenger hunt." I said sweetly.

"Bella, don't kid yourself. You and I both know that my team will dominate in this scavenger hunt."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Edward."

"Yeah well-" Edward stopped, mid-comeback, and we both realized the irony of my previous statement at the same time. We fell onto the bed in a fit of laughter.

"Edward! Bella! Quit giggling like schoolgirls and get your butts down here!" Alice called up the stairs. I sighed loudly and pulled myself off the bed. Edward grabbed me and slung me over his shoulder.

"I am perfectly capable of walking by myself, thank you very much" I muttered.

All Edward did was chuckle, and the next thing I knew, we were downstairs with the rest of the Cullen family and Carlisle and Esme were both holding a white envelope.

"Finally, you slowmos, geeeeez." Alice said, her voice full of agitation.

Just then, a thought popped into my head. " Alice what about Charlie?"

"What about him? Oh right. He thinks your going on a camping trip with us, but we're not sure when we will be back. And before you ask your next question, I already packed a bag for you." She said, taking the words right out of my mouth. I had to love that little pixie.

"Is everyone ready? Okay, open the envelopes!" Alice shouted. And the girls huddled around Esme to try and get a peek.

I read the list once, twice, three times before finally stating: "Uhh I don't really know this Tanya chick, but I'm really starting to doubt her sanity…"

**muahahahaha. cliffie. sort of. you know what i love? Edward. you know what else? reviews.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello all!**

**I want to send a special thanks to my reviewers, and a special special thanks to Kronk, who helped me come up with these. You guys rule! That being said… onward.**

_This list is insane. _I thought to myself. _How in the world does someone obtain these things? _

I looked around at the vampires surrounding me. Not one of their beautiful faces had any trace of shock or surprise on them, leading me to believe the items on the list were no less crazy than ones that they have seen in the past.

"Alice, how in Gods name-" I began, only to immediately be cut off.

"And we start in 3…2…1…GO!" I was instantly picked up and thrown over Esme's shoulder, and before I knew what was going on, we were in Alice's yellow Porsche, speeding towards the airport.

I was confused. All of the items on the list seemed so ludicrous; I didn't even know how to go about obtaining some of them.

"Can I see the list again Esme?" I asked. She handed it over, and I took a look at it. The first item up was… A Norwegian hobo's undergarments.

The three vampires around me were brainstorming.

"I say we seduce him, and after we get him naked, we just take his underwear." Rosalie of course.

"We should take him shopping and buy him a whole new wardrobe, and offer to throw his old clothes away for him, and just keep his gross underwear." Alice. Who else?

"Yeah, well I say we just take him into a back alleyway in the dead of night and rob him blind." Whoa. That one was unexpected.

"What the heck Esme? Hobos are people too! You can't just rob them blind in the dead of night!" exclaimed Alice.

"Sorry, girls, I guess I just got caught up in the heat of the moment. It won't happen again."

"What about you Bella?" asked Rose. "Any ideas?"

I had no ideas. _Think Bella, think. _I urged myself. "uhhh… Why don't we just pay a hobo for his boxers?"

"Bella that is so stupid…" Rose began. I blushed crimson and lowered my head "that it just might work." She finished. _What? Had Rose just complimented me? _This day was getting weirder and weirder.

"Thanks! I think…"

"Ok. So is everyone in agreement that we will try Bella's plan?" Alice asked, barley focusing on the road.

"agreed."

"agreed"

"agreed"

"agreed"

"Ok then! Everyone out, we've got non-stop flight to Oslo** (AN: capital of Norway) **to catch!!"

We ran, at human speed, through the small airport and barely made the flight.

As the plane took off, Esme suggested that I got my rest, because I had a long day in front of me.

I woke to Alice gently shaking me.

"Bella, were landing in 5 minutes. Ready to kick some man-butt?" she asked

Surprisingly enough, I was. I mean, I missed Edward like hell, But I was excited to be included on this scavenger hunt. I guess it made me feel like I was a part of the family. And I wanted that more than anything.

We got off the plane, ran through the terminal, rented the fastest car possible, and were speeding toward downtown Oslo in no time. Apparently downtown was the happening place for hobos. We were cruising down the street, hobo searching, when Alice spotted the "perfect hobo" "There!" she shrieked, swerving the car to the opposite side of the street. We scared that hobo half to death. Alice grabbed a handful of bills from the glove department and raced up to the old, crusty, hairy, smelly, disgusting man.

"Hey!" she said, in an excited tone. " If I gave you this money, could I have your boxers?

"No English" he said, in a heavily accented voice.

"Bella, you and Rose stay with this dude, Alice and I will go find a translator. Don't let him go anywhere." Esme commanded.

The next ten minutes were awkwardly spent trying to explain to the hobo why he couldn't leave. From what I could understand, he was trying to reach a convention of some sort. _Probably a We Smell Really, Really Bad convention. _I thought to myself. I chuckled out loud.

"What's so funny?" Rose asked in a menacing manner. I guess we weren't on good terms just yet.

"Nothing Rosalie, just an inside joke…with myself." _I'm going crazy._ I thought to myself.

"Well let's hear it then."

"What?"

"The inside joke with yourself. I want to hear it."

"Uhh… ok well you know how the homeless man needs to get to a convention or something?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I was just thinking it was like, a We Smell Really, Really Bad Convention"

Then the weirdest thing happened. Rosalie Hale laughed. Not a sarcastic, hateful laugh, but a genuine, original laugh.

Before I could make a comment, Alice and Esme were back with what looked like a very confused translator.

"Hey guys. Sorry it took so long. The closest translator was all the way up town. Ok can you tell this homeless dude that we will pay him if he just gives us his underwear?"

The translator told him, and the homeless guy agreed.

" If he would like to follow us to the bathroom, you can tell him that he can change in there." Said Esme kindly.

Before the translator even had time to begin to tell the hobo, his pants were off and I was getting an eyeful of hobo junk.

"Oh my god! Alice, grab the boxers and lets get the Hell out of here!"


	4. Chapter 4

I was scarred. No, I was more than scarred. I was super duper scarred. I was super duper majorly insanely scarred. I thought the first person's junk I would have seen would be Edwards. But no. I saw some old nasty Norwegian hobo's package before I saw my own fiancé's.

"Hey guys?" I asked tentatively, as Alice was driving to the airport.

"Yes, Bella?" Esme asked, shakily. I guess I wasn't the only one scarred by this traumatic experience.

"Can we all agree to never, ever, ever talk about what just happened again?" I asked

"Yes please." They all agreed.

"Okay" Alice said in a chipper tone. "What's next on the list, Esme?

"That would be… a sumo wrestler's mawashi"

"What the heck is a mawashi?" I asked

"It's that diaper thing that sumo wrestlers wear when they wrestle" Rosalie informed me, not kindly, but not coldly either. It was a start.

Before I could make a response, my stomach rumbled, quite loudly. I guess Hobo hunting worked up ones appetite.

"Bella, our flight is going to be delayed exactly…twenty four minutes." Alice said. "Can you find some sort of food while we wait?"

"Sure, no problem." I said, slightly scared of what I would find in a Norwegian airport.

Luckily, I found a McDonalds, and was finished before we boarded the plane. As the plane was boarding, I turned around to ask Alice a question.

"Before you ask, I would like to take this opportunity to ask Rosalie to catch you, seeing as you are going to fall in 3…2…1."

As she was saying this, I tripped over someone's carry-on and found myself with my face inches from the ground, and Rosalie holding on to me. I preferred Edward, but at least she didn't let me fall.

"Thanks" I said hesitantly.

"Anytime" she replied.

"Anyway Alice… Aw shoot. I forgot what I was going to ask"

"You were going to ask if this was a non- stop flight to Japan, or if we had a layover." She informed me.

"Oh.Right. So which is it?"

"We have a layover in Greece."

As the plane took off, I decided to sleep, seeing as we would probably be going non-stop, and the only time I would be able to sleep would be on the planes. When I awoke, we were landing in the Athens airport. The wait for the layover was short, about 15 minutes, so I decided to go to the bathroom. On the way there, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of bronze in the crowd. My heart started beating erratically, in hopes of seeing Edward, but when I turned around completely, it had vanished.

_Great. I'm seeing things now. I guess I miss Edward more than I thought. _I mused silently.

I used the bathroom, and in no time, we were all safely boarded onto the plane and it was taking off.

The flight was fairly boring, and I was happy to be off the plane and stretch my legs. Right after we grabbed our luggage, we were out the door. Luckily, the weather was cloudy, so we didn't have to take unnecessary measures to ensure we didn't end up on Youtube or something. We drove to Osaka, where, apparently, a Sumo wrestling tournament was being held. I still didn't understand how once we arrived, we would actually obtain a mawashi.

" Does anyone know how we are supposed to get one of these diaper things? Cause I have no idea." I asked from the backseat.

"Has anyone seen the Austin Powers movies?" Rosalie asked.

"Of course!" We all replied in unison.

"Perfect. So I'm thinking we pull a Foxy Cleopatra in Goldmember."

"You mean when she goes undercover, and collects their laundry?" Esme asked.

"That part was disgusting!" Alice exclaimed.

"I know" Rose replied, "we'll just do it better than she did, and not have someone in the cart."

"Makes sense to me." I stated, matter of factly.

Once we were all agreed, the question arose of who would actually have to go undercover.

"Nose goes!" I yelled, putting my finger on my nose.

Alice was next, followed immediately by Rosalie.

Esme just sat there, looking confused.

"What is nose goes?" she asked.

"Whoever puts their finger on their nose last, has to do the deed in question." Alice answered.

"So I have to go in?"

Alice nodded

"In that case, every single one of you is disinherited." Esme stated as we pulled up to the arena. She got out and slammed the door.

**Esme POV**

I hope my Kids didn't think I was serious. Disinherit? Who does that anymore? The last case I heard of disinheritance is when a younger cousin disinherited her older cousin, and that did not end well. Anyway, back to the task of obtaining a mawashi. I Bought a geisha-looking outfit and a floppy hat from a street vendor, and I was on my way.

It wasn't hard to get into the locker rooms, I just had to play the part of a laundry lady collecting giant underwear. The hard part was seeing all those disgusting naked men.

_Think about Carlisle, think about Carlisle. _That was my mantra as I collected the mens' mawashis. I couldn't get out of there soon enough. One more second and I would have snapped. As soon as I had the last of the mawashis, I broke into a run, cart in tow, and didn't stop until I was at the car.

**Bella POV**

I hope Esme wasn't serious about the whole disinheriting thing. Who does that? Crazy people that's who. As I was thinking, I saw Esme sprinting toward the car with a disgusted look on her face.

"Get. Me. Out. Of. Here."

She Threw a mawahshi in the trunk, threw the cart onto the sidewalk, and threw herself into the car. So much for not making a scene.

**Hey guys! sorry its been so long! This is only the 3rd day ive been home all of July. Anywho, Reveiw please! more reveiws equals faster updates! **


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